What I Didn't Lose

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It’s a Wednesday night. There is that summer rain mixed with thunderstorms and lightening happening that I so enjoy. I’m having some coffee and waiting for my audition with a prospective therapist. I swear, it’s harder and more expensive than dating. But, I’m committed, or at least reminded that I need to be.

That is what this post is really about. Things I reminded myself regardless of money flowing or not, job security, or a pandemic lockdown. I know I haven’t been alone on any of this. The struggle to either keep a float or keep it going. Even though my life hasn’t been predictable or stable for a few years now, I thought I had it. The drive, experience, and somewhat vision I had (let’s be positive, and say have) has been challenged. Regardless, some things stuck. Most days, at least.

Wake up early. I think I was sleep deprived before this pandemic. I went through a period of sleeping in until late mornings, which if you knew me, I was always up before the sun. I missed it. My quiet mornings and multiple cups of coffee. Reading in peace with no interruptions. It was my me-time. Whether you are a parent, have multiple roommates, or have a very personable job, me-time is a privilege I try to take advantage of while I still can.

Yoga, stretches, and breath work. I consider that all in the same field. There is always some mindfulness, intentional movement, or meditation that comes from those three things. I did let go of the intense, sweat dripping, power flow, but it’s amazing how a more calm flow compliments a more relaxed lifestyle I have adopted over the last few months. A little everyday goes a long way for the soul and body.

A drive to keep it going. Even though at times I have no clue where that might be, or it changes once again, I never want to just settle. With a culinary degree and a year of many different experiences (the only start I needed), I have been determined to stay true to what I believe in. Whether I am in a kitchen seven hours straight, teaching or feeding children, creating content, or just out of work… my feelings and observations are my own to understand. Sometimes it’s lonely. I sacrifice friends, vacations, and a instagram worthy lifestyle. But, what I continue to do and remember seems to be worth so much more.

Discipline, dedication, and drive.