Falling For Autumn

Every pun intended.

If you know me and talk to me throughout the year or four seasons, you would know I am a summer baby, through and through. I live for humidity, crop tops, and a constant temperature of 85 and over. It’s not so much about the beach life or vacations, although I do wish it was easier and less expensive to do all that. It’s always been about the simplicity for me. Less makeup and clothing, imperfect natural waves, accessible farmer markets, and a mini tropical paradise that lives within the city streets.

And, this year I say good bye once again, but I don’t hate it…

If there is one thing that this virus taught me, it was to appreciate the simple things in any situation. And I’ve come to realize there is still a simplicity in the Fall. I found myself excited to wear sweaters and accepting the use pants in my own home. I have gravitated towards neutral colors and turning on the oven more often to bake up some much needed comfort food and sweets.

Maybe, because I’ve been accustomed to being home, the outside doesn’t seem so bad. A year ago, I was hustling between three jobs. Traveling to the Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn, and back to Manhattan. Worn out and tired, I dreaded the cold. With five months off, my definition of home became more important than ever. I created it and I’m excited to share it with others this fall and hopefully winter.

Nourishing my body, I focused on what I needed to add in. Cooking more and more vegetables. Phasing out the sweet bell peppers and welcoming the grounding potato, carrot, and beet medleys to come. Baking cakes and hopefully soon to be pies that I have no choice but to share. I’m hoping to share them not just physically, but through the what I always knew, this blog.

Although, I had more than enough time to work on anything and everything I could have wanted, some things required a little more work. Nourishing my body, which I’m more accustomed to doing wasn’t enough. Of course, everything is connected. For the second time, I will recommit to going to therapy and launching my business. Recommitting is one of the hardest things I believe. You already are too familiar with the feeling and possibility of some kind of “failure”. This transition season, I am transitioning my thoughts and desires to guide me into the life I was meant to live.

This year, I don’t have the cleanse for you to try or the steps for you to follow. I only have the honesty of what it’s been like and the plan I intend to follow. How have your plans changed? Not just with work and a new norm, but a whole different vision or feeling you never saw coming. I encourage you to let it ride this season. Fall in love with these changes.

These pictures were taken in the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx.

What I Didn't Lose

It’s a Wednesday night. There is that summer rain mixed with thunderstorms and lightening happening that I so enjoy. I’m having some coffee and waiting for my audition with a prospective therapist. I swear, it’s harder and more expensive than dating. But, I’m committed, or at least reminded that I need to be.

That is what this post is really about. Things I reminded myself regardless of money flowing or not, job security, or a pandemic lockdown. I know I haven’t been alone on any of this. The struggle to either keep a float or keep it going. Even though my life hasn’t been predictable or stable for a few years now, I thought I had it. The drive, experience, and somewhat vision I had (let’s be positive, and say have) has been challenged. Regardless, some things stuck. Most days, at least.

Wake up early. I think I was sleep deprived before this pandemic. I went through a period of sleeping in until late mornings, which if you knew me, I was always up before the sun. I missed it. My quiet mornings and multiple cups of coffee. Reading in peace with no interruptions. It was my me-time. Whether you are a parent, have multiple roommates, or have a very personable job, me-time is a privilege I try to take advantage of while I still can.

Yoga, stretches, and breath work. I consider that all in the same field. There is always some mindfulness, intentional movement, or meditation that comes from those three things. I did let go of the intense, sweat dripping, power flow, but it’s amazing how a more calm flow compliments a more relaxed lifestyle I have adopted over the last few months. A little everyday goes a long way for the soul and body.

A drive to keep it going. Even though at times I have no clue where that might be, or it changes once again, I never want to just settle. With a culinary degree and a year of many different experiences (the only start I needed), I have been determined to stay true to what I believe in. Whether I am in a kitchen seven hours straight, teaching or feeding children, creating content, or just out of work… my feelings and observations are my own to understand. Sometimes it’s lonely. I sacrifice friends, vacations, and a instagram worthy lifestyle. But, what I continue to do and remember seems to be worth so much more.

Discipline, dedication, and drive.

Sunday Cortado 16

Augusta St, Elizabeth NJ

By the time I can get this too you all, I highly doubt it's "cortado" time, but it's Sunday, none the less.  As I write to you in a dimly lit kitchen, while the Florida sun is shining down, I can't help but give you a little bit of honesty.  I have been on a emotional rollercoaster.  Weekends to many, are a time to recharge, explore, and most likely to be spent with friends and family.  Mine as of late, and what I thought I accepted, is the hustle part 2. 

I wake up before 6am and put all my energy to get once step closer to my vision until sundown.  Cleansing, yoga, markets, kitchen, recipe, photography, and blog.  Yes, these are things I love, and I could never picture my life without, but I can't help but think what if I wanted what was "normal".  To go out with friends on a Saturday night, brunch or bbq on a Sunday, and spend time with a significant other, before another week begins.  

I found myself going into an anxious, doubtful, and exhausted hole.   Falling into an all too familiar space of loneliness, usually pretty dark and filled with fear.  What if I don't make it?  Will I sacrifice everything, for nothing? I've told myself it's part of the deal.  As a striving woman looking to make her WILDEST dreams come true, that space of loneliness is inevitable.  Right?

I was reminded last week it's not.  The depressed driven deaths of a few creative souls was a reminder to many.  Yes, we may all feel like this from time to time, it's just the extremities and how we deal that might separate us, but it doesn't have to.  As an introvert and one who rather read a story, then speak, reaching out can seem like the hardest thing to do.  But, here is my way of reaching out to you, with my honesty, hoping you feel the comfort of not feeling alone.  

I'm here for the connection.  For the shared journey.  

~

One that hit me pretty hard was Bourdain.  I do believe there is a strong connection when it comes to food and us, people.  

Families are being separated, all because they want to feel safe in our country.  That's. Not. Right.

Puerto Rico is the example of colonialism gone horribly wrong, and it's shamefully known.  So do you walk away or stay home.  Is your loyalty questioned?

Adobo.  Would you believe they questioned my Puerto Ricaness because I do not use adobo.  Rude. 

If you can make a good story out of enchiladas, I'm all for it.  

Food is therapy.  And, I plan to do a lot of it this summer.  Here's what to make in June. 

I leave you with this.  Reach out.  Speak out.  

Sunday Cortado

Have you guys ever had a cortado?  A strong espresso shot, always served with a little milk and your choice to sweeten.  Basically, a Cuban coffee.  It brings me back to my cafe con leche days as a child first drinking coffee.  Then later to the days I lived in Florida and happily drank my Pilón or Bustelo every morning.  

During the week I enjoy my coffee black, always Bustelo, always in my coffee pot, half full.  With me gone early in the morning I like to have my coffee strong and while I have my quick me up, I use it to serve the purpose to jump start my day... maybe heart.

But the weekends... Oh, how I love the weekend.  I start it (after my lemon water, of course) with a full bodied strong cup of coffee lightened with hot almond milk and sweetened with traditional cane sugar.  Not exactly a latte, not a exactly a cortado, but my version of a homemade spanish coffee special.

We are calling this a cortado, for no other reason to give you something short, a little bold, with a sweet touch.  Let's start with the key ingredient, that morning shot...

White Nationalists March on University of Virginia.  If you haven't heard, this happen, and it kind of blew my mind.  There are not many words I can say, but what I think is obvious, or maybe it's not.  So wrong.  So shameful.  We cannot accept this and let it go unspoken.  

I'm all about how one person can make a difference.  Whether if it's just one who made a stand, or each individual unknowingly making the same commitment and now all of sudden there are thousand of just "one person."  Climate change is real, and it's refreshing to see individual cities are looking to make a change.  

New book!  I became a bit of a book nerd as of late, so this might become a thing.  The Unit, used a fiction novel that maybe covers the deep underlying thought of many woman feel the pressure to have children and contribute to society, and the growing number who choose to childless.

I love a good review.  Especially ones that give research, honest trial and opinions.  If you haven't been able to get your hands on my Whipped Cream Deodorant, I highly recommend giving this article, The Best Natural Deodorant for 2017, a read and maybe get your hands on another trustworthy product!

I've become a lover of the farmer's market in many ways.  Plants and cactuses included.  I post my trips pretty frequently through instagram, so keep updated on my post and stories here!

I'm making scallion pancakes soon.  It's necessary.  Hopefully they are as good as these Zucchini Fritters.  I'll keep you updated though. 

Feminine Fire Pt. 4: Recognizing Your Feminine Truth

Asbury Park Boardwalk, NJ.

So we finally made it.  Happy Summer Solstice, my dears.

The last month has been somewhat of an eye-opener.   I knew for sure I wanted to get this off my chest and out to you all.  By "this" I mean these posts filled with everything I believe in and love.  From Feminism, to the beauty given by mother earth, to even a little beauty cheat sheet, I had one more topic to bring into this series.  I wanted to talk about the beauty possible in every woman.  That energy.  That soul.  It is what I believe truly connects us all.

The universe. Our planet.

I am no more than lover of the Sun.  I'm a worshipper of the moon.  I do not look for the stars to tell me how to live, but rather understand how I am already doing so.  Our bodies are mostly made up of the same water that embodies most of Mother Earth.  Her waves run through us, and though her currents may be strong at times, she is only following the cycle of the moon.  Every month we have the opportunity to cleanse and release.   Internally our body, just as strong as the currents of the ocean, sometimes painfully, pushes out what does not belong.  Like every month, the moon becomes New.  Not a coincidence, but a cycle of miracles. 

We are given the opportunity to live in sync with the universe.  Once we work towards that, I believe we get closer to understanding the powerful connection within us all.  Just like we follow the patterns of night and day, we can live consciously within the seasons of our community.  We are gatherers, care-givers, and providers.  She grows the grass, raises the cattle, and feeds the earth.  How amazing is she?  How amazing are we? 

Compassion.  Ahimsa.  To do no harm.

Words and practices I always try and live by.  Even when I go astray, I have another woman there to remind me.  When I don't have her, I have the permanent ink engraved on my skin, on top of my ribs that protects my heart.  For to understand pain, is to live through it ourselves.  We have the power to go past sympathy.  We have the power of empathy.

I wanted to have this post as a conclusion.  I wanted to leave this series as a beginning.  I only hope that one day all women will have the courage to realize we are all in this together.  We are powerful and strong, sometimes so much so we scare ourselves.  I don't want to confuse our great gifts with what society has named us.  Emotional. Crazy. Dramatic. Spiteful.  Do not speak about yourself what you wouldn't want to hear from others.  

If I am emotional, then I am privileged to feel.  Crazy?  I am crazy in love with Mother Earth.  So much so, that I revolved my whole life to make it a better place.  I am dramatic for the injustice and hurt that people endure from the those who are fearful of the unknown.  Sometimes we need to make a bigger fuss for the bigger things.  And I will never try to get even, but only make you realize that there was a better way.

So here is to a better way.  

My women, the ones who came before me, the ones who walked beside me, and the ones I may admire from a far,  I hope you always keep your beauty unique, your privilege honest, and your FEMININE FIRE always burning. 

Not only with love... with respect and pride.  

Feminine Fire Pt. 1: What Being a Feminist Means to Me

DISCLAIMER: I am not a life coach, psychiatrist, or currently participating in any activist group. 

Feminism - The theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.

My dears, this post was a long time coming.  I have given little hints and sneak peaks, but I thought in honor of the summer and birthday to come, I want to express what I find beautiful.

I found myself talking to my mom one night, confiding how I want to speak more about womanhood, current politics, and all those "taboo" subjects that aren't to be spoken about at work, public place, and sometimes even between friends.  So, with who then? When is it okay? I know there are communities and organizations who focus on the real big stuff.  But damn, I just wanna have some deep inspiring conversation, unafraid, and authentic, about presidencies, war, the environment, white privilege, and woman empowerment.  Yes, ALL THAT. 

Then, on the other hand, I find myself thinking, "WHO THE HELL AM I?" I talk about avocados and salads, the importance of mindfulness and kindness.  The uncomfortable stuff, even words, I dare not speak or avoid, because well, I created a healthy-living wellness blog with a focus on food. But, if I must classify and justify myself, I'm just a woman who believes in her potential and the potential of this crazy beautiful world we live in.  With that said, here we go.

I believe that being a feminist is nothing more than being a human being.  Nobody is better than you and you are better than no one else.  There are certain reminders and ways I keep myself humble, open, and female as fuck.

Lay Off the Judgement

Whether you practice modesty or religious dress, a doctor or stay at home mother, a woman who shaves her armpits or not, or a man who resonates with the female soul, there are so many difference between us all, you will never hear about many at all.  It's okay to be curious and ask, even maybe just wonder.  But, when I hear that someone is not good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough, it breaks my heart. There are so many different beliefs it has become too easy to pass judgement onto one another.  What makes us unique and human, especially in a place I call home, has created so much DRAMA.  

Because I choose to wear revealing clothing and no bra make me seem I have less self respect?  Because I choose to refrain from sex in time when women sexual liberation is becoming well acknowledged and accepted, make me a prude?  Does me not smiling make you uncomfortable?  I heard women are prettier when they smile.  Are you automatically intelligent and worthy of work because you went on to higher education?  If I didn't, would you think I was ignorant? When did clothing, job choice, education, or looks define a person?  Those things were meant to empower us, not put us down. 

You never know what someone else has went through or done to get where they are.  When it comes to woman I see this way to often, even within themselves.  What we do is usually for ourselves, not attention or praise.  And if it is, I say this with sincerity, it is time for you seek something greater than approval.  So please, be mindful of automatic judgement and be open to see what really makes that individual beautifully being.

Stand for Everyone

It's not just women rights, it's every individual's birth right to feel free and unafraid in the skin they are in.  Whether it is indigenous Latinos being seen as illegal (correct term - undocumented), Muslims suspected as terrorist, blacks perceived as violent, or women seen as too sensitive or inad (forever far from), we have segregated ourselves greatly.  There are men of different races violating women in the same way and when being prosecuted, they have different sentences. Why? Because one "will not be able handle the devastating impact." Oh, and the woman? Well, she should have never put herself in such a position to be abused in the first place.  

Stand up for our children who are open and ready to receive so much love and knowledge, but maybe can't because politics say lower budget schools are not priority when it comes to education.  Stand up for the woman next to you being harassed for wearing too little AND for the one made uncomfortable for wearing too much, stand up for the colored men who are being seen as a threat.  Use your voice. Not your phone.  Your voice is the greatest tool you have to make up for the women and children who are silenced.  Ignorance may seem like bliss, until it affects you.  

Shit Happens. Don't Get Over it. 

I recently received came across a quote by Gloria Steinem. "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off."

Get mad, get upset, send prayers, and love.  Understand that this is the Universe we live in.  It's hard to see the good in so much bad and hurt that happens EVERY DAY, but it's possible.  Talk about it.  Read about it and don't let anyone ever tell you, you are one person.  There was once only one vegan, only one farmer, one female politician, and one company donating their products to young women in need of feminine hygiene products so they may go to school.  

Do you see where I'm going with this?  Don't stop with "that's the way it is." 

Always with love and a big fucking heart.

PS.  We are all a work in progress.  To say I haven't classified myself once or twice as a chonga, or thought any man I met may be worth my time, would be lie.  Take note on your own thoughts and words.  They mean a ton whether spoken to yourself or to others.