I Made A Cake

And it was delicious.

A few times this week I was called out on my shit. Where are the blog posts? Why don’t you just go out? What are your hobbies? Even though I can think of quite a few different answers, they all became just excuses. I wanted to give partnered reasons to why while giving how I made the most of it. The hard stuff.

What do you go back to when it gets a little hard? What are the ways you get back to being you?

Every month I have some sort of draft saved to post for when it’s ready and time. When the pretty pictures are up and when my jumbled words and run-on sentences have been proofread by someone other than myself. But here’s the thing: my overall wellbeing usually affects when and how I show up. Writing a blog post or posting on social media is the first thing to take a back seat during those difficult times. Feelings of being fake or the hypocrisy of my words take over. The beautiful and yummy pictures of food are true, but are usually never meant for myself. But when I write, that still is.

I’m not sure if that is the right or healthy thing to do. But for myself, I honor my feelings and beliefs in that way. I’m fortunate enough to take that time to do so, as I know not everyone is. It’s hard for a business/individual, especially on social media, to be so transparent. I don’t know who actually reads my blog, but I am sure my clients and the connections I’ve made might have had a peak. I’ve always been a rather private person, now more than ever because a big chunk of my life I had to literally sell and market. Very easy my ability to cook and share all the yummy stuff with a side of face, became my worth.

So in the meantime, I’ve been trying to get back to the things that made me feel good. To bake and be in the kitchen with no other reason than I wanted to. I wanted to use beautiful apricots, organic cilantro, and juicy tomatoes to make something delicious, for me. Something I believed in and can actually share with those I love. When your hobby becomes your career, it seems almost impossible to separate those two things.

So, I brought along the books, specifically starting with something I know I’ll enjoy (hello anxiety). I’ve been an avid reader from a very young age and have been able to keep that curiosity, fantasy, and education from a book alive through adulthood. Subway rides went fast with just words. Connection with fictional character and stories seemed real when I wanted to escape my mundane 9-5 job.

The goal for now is to work on my health in every way I can at the moment. Eating good or better for me foods. Taking time without guilt. Dominoes, 5-star restaurants, local panaderias with endless breads and sweets, and the simple meals that give me the nourishment my body craves. It all became exactly what I wanted.

While I rode the all you can eat train, I also got physical in a way I never thought I would again. Being in New York, I learned to love walking anywhere, anytime. So, I took that pleasure with me in my own neighborhood with some company. Longer walks with my menace of a dog became a routine I didn’t know I needed. He took me out of my comfort zone and out of the house, because there was a time it would take days.

While I hope these things continue until tomorrow and weeks to come, I know I’ll figure out how to see you too. To reconnect in a way other than some type of screen. Showing up with authenticity and honesty.

This post was inspired by corn nuts and my desire for a vacation.

Spring 2021

Hi!

I am continuing my post that I started in February. Well, I actually just deleted it and here is the new one. So, Happy Spring!

I’m not looking at this season like I’ve used to. Usually it’s a way to let go of winter blues and diet changes, while bringing in new ideas and challenges. Between eating more vegetables, yoga, therapy, and taking all my supplements, I’ve tried most of the basics. This time I want to go a step further. What if this time I just build on what I’ve always done and tried? Build on my business and already set plans, stick to a practice just for the commitment, and start eating real meals instead of popcorn and chocolate covered raisins for dinner.

I wouldn’t say I’ve fallen off, but I definitely let my ability to procrastinate and overthink get the best of me. While I could write a list on a “how to” this season, why don’t I just show you? The things that bring me a sense of calm, a smile, motivation, and simple beauty back into my little corner of NYC and My Whisk and Mat.

Curry Kabocha Squash Soup

You know, I never actually cared for soup.

I remember enjoying some sancocho at my grandmas, clam chowder on Ash Wednesday, and my mom’s chicken soup when you were feeling under the weather. But to actually ask and crave soup? It was a rarity that came with a cold at hand. If I ever made soup for myself, it was to heal with simple bone broth and whatever vegetables I can get from my fridge.

I was on a mission this fall and winter to change that. Why? Because soup is simple and still yummy, and I’m jumping on the bandwagon. Since being home more often, I realized taking time to make a simple meal didn’t have to be a to-do. I’m a rice and beans kind of girl through and through. Throw in avocado and vegetables for me and a pork chop for him, we are happy everyday of the week. But I’m a chef, who still appreciates to try something new for both myself and to share. We expand our knowledge and palates in the field no matter the preference, just for the love of food.

So I started with traditional fall favorite. Squash. It can be cut and roasted for a side dish. Baked and pureed to become soups, dips, or pie. Yum. Caribbean Latinos love calabaza to add in our beans and stews, ask any abuela. Considering it’s a nutritional powerhouse, I would say it makes anything healthy. You can fight me on it, but I enjoy pumpkin pie and sancocho like it’s healing my body and soul.

Here we have my version of a simple soup. Using my new favorite, kabocha squash, and a few other ingredients, this soup comes together easily and smoothly. It’s perfect to be paired with homemade croutons or a grilled cheese sandwich. Or on it’s own. Exactly how I intended it to be enjoyed. Simple ways to nourish the body and give it a little something special. Curry Kabocha Squash Soup.

Curry Kabocha Squash Soup

Ingredients

1 medium kabocha squash, roasted*

1 small yellow onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 tablespoon oil (olive oil, coconut oil)

1 tablespoon curry powder

4 cups vegetable broth

1/4 cup heavy cream (sub coconut milk for vegan option)

pinch of cayenne pepper

salt and pepper to taste.

Directions

In a dutch oven over medium heat, sauté onions and garlic in olive oil. Wait until onions become translucent or soften and add the curry powder. Let the curry powder release oils over the heat. Add your vegetable broth scraping the flavor from the bottom of the pan if needed. Add the squash and stir until combined. Turn off the heat.

Now, transfer the soup into a blender. To avoid spillage and letting the soup have the opportunity to cool off a bit, I used a ladle until the end. Blend on medium speed until everything seems to have come together nicely, small chunks of onion are okay.

Transfer soup back into dutch oven, turn on heat to low and add your heavy cream, cayenne pepper, salt, and pepper. Stir over the heat until soup becomes silky and thick. Add whatever herbs or toppings on hand. Enjoy!

*To roast the squash, preheat the oven to 375. Cut in have and drizzle the inside with oil, salt, and pepper. Place cut side on to the baking sheet and bake for about 45min to an hour. Top should be soft to touch.

What I Didn't Lose

It’s a Wednesday night. There is that summer rain mixed with thunderstorms and lightening happening that I so enjoy. I’m having some coffee and waiting for my audition with a prospective therapist. I swear, it’s harder and more expensive than dating. But, I’m committed, or at least reminded that I need to be.

That is what this post is really about. Things I reminded myself regardless of money flowing or not, job security, or a pandemic lockdown. I know I haven’t been alone on any of this. The struggle to either keep a float or keep it going. Even though my life hasn’t been predictable or stable for a few years now, I thought I had it. The drive, experience, and somewhat vision I had (let’s be positive, and say have) has been challenged. Regardless, some things stuck. Most days, at least.

Wake up early. I think I was sleep deprived before this pandemic. I went through a period of sleeping in until late mornings, which if you knew me, I was always up before the sun. I missed it. My quiet mornings and multiple cups of coffee. Reading in peace with no interruptions. It was my me-time. Whether you are a parent, have multiple roommates, or have a very personable job, me-time is a privilege I try to take advantage of while I still can.

Yoga, stretches, and breath work. I consider that all in the same field. There is always some mindfulness, intentional movement, or meditation that comes from those three things. I did let go of the intense, sweat dripping, power flow, but it’s amazing how a more calm flow compliments a more relaxed lifestyle I have adopted over the last few months. A little everyday goes a long way for the soul and body.

A drive to keep it going. Even though at times I have no clue where that might be, or it changes once again, I never want to just settle. With a culinary degree and a year of many different experiences (the only start I needed), I have been determined to stay true to what I believe in. Whether I am in a kitchen seven hours straight, teaching or feeding children, creating content, or just out of work… my feelings and observations are my own to understand. Sometimes it’s lonely. I sacrifice friends, vacations, and a instagram worthy lifestyle. But, what I continue to do and remember seems to be worth so much more.

Discipline, dedication, and drive.

Sunday Cortado 20

These posts are so therapeutic for me to get out there. I love reading articles early in the morning. To wake up, leave my phone for a few hours, and have my own time. I do my routine and sit myself in front of the laptop for an hour or so and read. I usually find myself wanting to share what catches my eye or attention.

Thankfully, I have a partner who usually asks me if I read anything good. But, why not talk about it here too… through my blog. For those that come around and visit, here’s what I’m reading, cooking, and feeling as of late.

~

This is a Podcast! Puerto Ricans are asked what is their race and the question is not so easy to understand.

I’ve been reading, The Turkish Lover. Esmeralda lets me see my grandma, mother, and myself in each book she wrote.

When they were just beginning. If you love some vintage photos and NYT article features, this is for you.

Do you want to know what Stanley Tucci is cooking during this quarantine? Yes, you do.

Grocery bills are rising. Something that hurts my soul every week while I still try to navigate possible options.

I’ve been getting some amazing reviews on these biscuits. Please make them. Easiest recipe ever.

And the cake from my last post, this Tres Leches. My new go-to.

This pandemic taught me how important it is to have a go-to brownie. These cocoa brownies are a must.

I finally started baking bread like the rest of the world! I stink, but these pitas give me hope.

Esquites. This is more for my partner than for me, but I’ll take them all summer long.

Two Months

Mom’s birthday cake.

When I don’t want to say much, but share it all.

Doing the best I can, just like you. Face masks and baked goods, missing restaurants and subway commutes, adjusting with loved ones on FaceTime, keeping my purpose alive, and learning a new way of life. The new normal.

Wishing you all nothing but strength, courage, health, and compassion. Until next time, which is hopefully sooner than you and I both think. I’m still excited (but still a little scared) to see what comes next.

Riverside Park, Washington Heights, Hamilton Heights NYC

After 2 week of self isolation….

First semi successful batch of homemade bread. Pita and hummus.

Padres off to prom in style.

Finally took a drive and to Stone Barns. Wasn’t how I envisioned my first time, but I don’t think I would have had it any other way.

Favorite homemade biscuits

New Jersey = Backyard

Social Distancing BBQ

Rooftop views, Uptown.

“Don’t worry, you’re just as sane as I am.”

Yummy imperfections

NYC bagel.

Spanish Harlem, NYC.

Nostalgia with a twist.

West Harlem Piers

From my favorite place, home for now.

Sunday Cortado 19

Rincón, Puerto Rico

I’m a news junkie. Email-morning-news junkie, to be exact. Every morning I read more and more current event subscriptions, ranging from the New York Times, to more story telling articles like, The Atlantic. I prefer to read than to watch the overdramatized channels on the TV, plus I don’t have basic cable. It keeps me busy during my hour and half morning commutes and somehow I always end up sharing an article with a “lucky” loved one.

I always thought it was important to share what’s been going on in the world, or just your backyard, and needs recognition. As somebody with a social platform (not very popular, but still), I feel the invitation to share or talk about things other than food is important. I can’t talk about it all, but I’m down to stay educated and hear the sometimes overwhelming amounts of views taken.

In pictures. For a whole year’s worth.

In pictures. For this past week.

Puerto Rico’s traumatic week is only a reminder of the struggles from the last two years or hundred… I love this island and breaks my heart to see what the U.S. has done to it and their people. Looking to help?

How other country’s people stay healthy longer. Tell me your secrets, or just your habits.

Flagship Harry Potter store coming to NYC!

5 habits to have after 5pm. I’m all about preparing for a successful day the night before.

I’m just adding to my already ambitious list of restaurants I would like to try.

This year will be the year I bake bread at home.

Cauliflower tacos is something I can do. Cauliflower pizza crust? Not so much.

One Year. One Month.

And one week since I moved into the city. So, am I a New Yorker, yet? Somehow, I made it to one year! I doubted myself many more times than I would like to admit, as any other person would with a meek bank account and a crazy idea they were meant to do something bigger, or just something else. This post is my reminder.

As people get into the New Year, I think we set a lot of goals and intentions, try to live through a mantra. I can’t help but think that really isn’t what I need this year. Are there things I would love to try and accomplish? Absolutely, yes. But, I think I need to get back to the basics first… again. What I need? A fucking kick in the ass to get back to the state of mind I once had. I can’t help but think I lost a part of myself that I was once so proud of.

I reflected over many of the changes and accomplishments over this past one year. I graduated culinary school, moved from New Jersey to Brooklyn to now Manhattan. I held 5 DIFFERENT JOBS, sometimes three at the same time. I felt more homesick than ever. I met an amazing person and love I never thought was possible. I took pay cuts and pay raises, went back to yoga, then stopped again. I’m lucky if I have some kale or spinach twice a month, something I had almost everyday.

Right now, my job is truly something I believe in. I’m not saying it’s perfect and my dream (still not sure what that is), but with perseverance I think I can make it worth my while. Hint: I’m a chef and get to interact with kids almost everyday. Never a dull moment, never a day without a smile. Yet, as any dreamer or hustler would say, there has to be more. If you are a dreamer or hustler with anxiety, sometimes that comes off as not doing enough.

For somebody who worked their ass to get to what where they thought they wanted to be, you can’t help but think of every time you are getting a little closer there is something always out of reach. For myself, I can’t help but think of those things are what I left behind. Everything from green smoothies, to good friends.

In the city with a dream, heart, and a plan that will most likely go not as planned, there comes sacrifices and uncomfortable changes. Times when money doesn’t let you do much, 1/2/3/4 roommates to live with, but if you are lucky become friends with, long subway rides that make you hope for the best, and let’s be real… mice.

The good? You are always bound to meet new people, and even if they aren’t forever, they can be pretty amazing for the ever changing days of your unpredictable life. Love and dating in the city can be mistakenly glamorous, and I wouldn’t change our story for anything else. You can see the most beautiful and heartbreaking places, all within a day, sometimes hour. Anyone can really do anything they want, and once I figure it out, I think I will. In the most crowded places, you still have the mental space that most towns and suburbs don’t get. When people walk fast, there is sense of great appreciation and camaraderie. Oh, and the food, something I want to start exploring more of.

So let’s bring it back. And let’s put it in writing. Even better, shared with the public…

My Goals. My Intentions. My Revisitation Rights.

1. Go back to yoga

2. Have some smoothies, preferably green

3. Work on my anxiety

4. Get some yummy food with friends

5. Make some yummy food for friends

6. Share my passion

7. Live with my anxiety

8. Write more

9. Make shmoney, save shmoney

10. Trust

This whole thing… Confidence. Confident I can make money doing what I love. Confidence to share my work, food, and passions. Confident that human connection will always make life worth while. Even for an introvert, through a computer screen…

Looks like I had some goals after all,

Sunday Cortado 18

Have to start somewhere…

Yesterday, Instagram gently reminded me that I started blogging in this space three years ago. Well, it feels like even more. Maybe, because I really have been blogging for longer or maybe because I’ve taken one of my longest hiatus yet. Why? Oh, you know the usual…

Figuring out my purpose, reconnecting with my why, feeling like I’ve already said all I can say. But, like any strong minded, passionate woman, that can never be true. I’ve went through more changes in the last five months than any other time I can remember, and I’m preparing myself for even more in the next couple of months. From where I’ll call home to what kind of career, I still don’t know. But, I got this. My space to write what my hands create and where my mind wonders.

My Whisk and Mat is still full of food, thoughts, and beliefs. Always open to the curious, the conversationalist, community.

~

I didn’t plan to get too serious this morning, but I woke to another alert on my phone. A debate often in my own mind what kind of world I have hope for.

Keeping cool with Ayurveda. Even a summer junkie like myself can get a little heated, just a little.

This reminds me of green version of shashuka. Yum.

A peanut free pad thai? Perfect idea for kids and those who don’t like nuts! (Those people do exist)

I made a chocolate zucchini bread not too long ago and got rave reviews even from the most apprehensive. Can I pull off a traditional one?

Smashed Cucumber Yogurt Salad. Nice twist to put on my weekly cucumber salad rotation.

I made my own recipe! Some modifications like extra butter, this blueberry crumble is still one of the easiest dessert out there.

This was an unplanned-I woke up like this-kind of post. Trying to take the “must” out of what I love to do!

Making Space This Spring

I’m writing this to you on the Spring Equinox, full moon, and three months till my 3-0 birthday. This is no big deal, just making it big because I want to. And I can, because this is the place I share things that help me relate in the deepest way to all of you. So a quick thank you, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE NOW! And, we shall continue.

So, it is finally here. That little glimpse of hope for my people still hustling in this frigid (I’m dramatic, remember) cold weather. I don’t know about you, but I suffered in my usual fashion. With my move to New York, finishing up culinary school, and still not knowing what is to come next month (again, typical Yesi fashion), my urge to hibernate and not deal with it all has stronger than ever. But, I did. I pushed, then hibernated, drank a lot of wine, ate a lot of roasted vegetables, walked to places unknown, then hibernated some more. What happens when we ground, separate ourselves from the outside world even? We think, a a lot.

During the winter, I find myself secluded and internally focused more than ever. Makes sense. We have time to assess and prepare, to make ourselves feel comforted, whether from what we consume to our surroundings. We may eat a little more heavily (almost always seasonally acceptable), clutter our space to comfort or fit our every desire. If you are me, we hardly make it out. In general, it’s cold.

With daylight savings, it only served as a slight reminder. The time is coming to clear out. I don’t so much make a whole production like I used to. No kitchari, no juicing, no cleaning out closets or wiping down my whole place to smell like Method cleaner. We are doing what’s needed. When making space, I’ve learned it doesn’t have to be so grand, but what you see fit. Our needs, changes, and level of ability vary, so rather than go beyond my comfort to make space, I rather stay warm and open up to the not so comfortable that may take room.

Spring is three months, so I make three points. We are still in the beginning, so if you are looking to make changes, it’s okay to take your time…

1. Make space in your surroundings.

   I tend to have extra blankets, candles, and sweaters lying around all winter long. I like to tackle one room or space at a time. One big clean can jumpstart a season of maintenance. And, while my closet doesn’t really need to be cleaned out (I literally left more that half my stuff behind), I will start folding up sweaters and knits. Leaving space for the simplicity of the warmer weather is one of my favorite to-dos. Don’t underestimate the power of a good T-shirt and jeans combo!

2. When it comes to food, think GREEN.

   And I’m not talking juices or smoothies. Literally the market will have a theme of green leaves and more. We are still early for the bright reds and oranges of peppers, tomatoes, peaches, and strawberries (can you tell I”m a lover of summer), but we still have a good selection! Greens will naturally either help cleanse your system or give you the extra nutrition boost to go along with the blooming spring season. Like leaves growing away from the soil, I believe we slowly move forward from the grounding practices and earthy vegetables of winter.

3. Move.

   Confession. This is my “obstacle” and if there is anything that might bring me slightly out of my comfort zone, it’s to move. It’s crazy how we get so accustomed to what we do most, and if you work a desk 9-5 job, you know what I mean. Whether you’re a runner, spinner, or power yogi, I believe these exercise help not just release toxins, but thought as well. You will be doing the mind and body justice to relieve what has been cooped up all winter longer.

So do we fill this Space? Use it? Let it be?

I say it’s all up to you, my dears. I look at this as a time to release, reset, and recharge. I also use each of these points as guide lines. Some are more important, even complicated, to me than others. With my lifestyle, I want to use the joint effort of greens and sweat to boost my energy and immunity to allow something new in. Whether job, friends, or adventure, I’m looking to fulFILL again. As seasons and time go by, the more I see and appreciate the uniqueness in us all. So the saying goes, “Do you, boo!”

Do it with all your heart and health.

Root

Gandules Guisado con Bollitas de Platano and quinoa

Located at the base of the spine, the pelvic floor, and the first three vertebrae, the root chakra is responsible for your sense of safety and security on this earthly journey. The word Muladhara breaks down into two Sanskrit words: Mula meaning “root” and Adhara, which means “support” or “base.” 

The Chopra Center, The Root Chakra: Muladhara

Simply, the foundation.

To say I have been in survival mode for the past couple of months is dramatization of a strict routine ruled by weather and finances. Eat, sleep, and pay the rent. Every penny is counted (2.01 for a super small coffee), every minute is dedicated (can’t skimp on my 130 minutes of netflix a night), and I officially live by the bedtime feature on my phone (10:15pm reminder).

Writing this now, I even just realized that I cannot be alone on this. It’s the winter, none the less, we are cold and desperately trying not get sick. I mean, what if we actually had to take a SICK DAY? Nobody can afford those, anymore. Winter, you are something else. And New York too, goddamn, you’re tough.

During the last few weeks I’ve cried over a 9-5 survival job more than any grateful person should, counted just enough quarters to dry the last batch of laundry I could afford, learned how to set a mouse trap, and bring up the subways so effortlessly in everyday conversation with every other New Yorker. How quickly we get accustomed.

I’ve read books to go back. I go back to the days when Puerto Ricans fled to New York (Brooklyn to be exact) to have light, running water, and work. Go back when the Incas and Andeans who lost their land, but not their teachings. I also talk to my grandma. She tells me how easy it would be to make mofongo (after I buy a pilón, claro) and how she used to go to Prospect Park all the time, over 50 years ago….

That’s about the time, they were learning to survive to. From New Jersey, to New York, and back to New Jersey to raise a family and work their asses off. That’s where the foundation began. Merging Puerto Rico into an American way of life. My parents merging their Latin AND American values into our American Dream household. How I’ve been surviving? By trying to get to the root of where it all began.

I want the rice and beans to fill my protein deficient body, the bread to keep me full, the local squash and potatoes for that sweet nourishment I crave, sugar and coconut oil to for the cravings of my skin, classic salsa to keep my mind dancing when my body is too cold or tired to do so herself, and the New York spirit, because even when you have exhausted me, the reminder of fucking doing it, is still with there.

Rooting down with my culture and vegetables, surviving the winter months by keeping a roof over my head and my head out of the clouds, for once, I built my foundation. Lonely nights were filled with projects of dim lights and candles, perfect for cozy productivity in bed. Counting quarters taught me the value of accessible nourishing foods, not just for myself, but anyone who gets hungry. Subway rides gave me not space, but opportunity to go deeper, through the words of those before me.

This is how I root. Making my home in New York, with experiences I couldn’t have anywhere else, I dig my feet a little deeper, making sure I may extend my hunger, heart, arms, and mind ANYWHERE else, but with feet on the ground. In case you do need to go back to basics, the foundation will always be there.

Saturday Coquito

My holiday take on a Sunday Cortado…

Wishing you the all the amazement and wonder next year, each season, everyday.

Puerto Rican Coquito

Adapted from Daisy Cooks

• 15 oz can unsweetened coconut cream

• 14 oz can condensed milk

• 12 oz can evaporated milk

• 1/2 cup simple syrup or agave

• 4 egg yolks

• 2 tsp vanilla extract

• 1 tsp cinnamon

• 1/4 tsp cloves or nutmeg

• 2 cups rum

Siempre,

~yesenia

Brooklyn Baby

A long time coming. Not necessarily the Brooklyn part, but my move away from home, out of Jersey.

For a while, I felt deeply out of place. If you asked me two years ago if I would consider even working in New York, my answer was “Hell. No.” I was a Jersey Girl. I had a car, I knew towns by their exits on the parkway, familiar with the east and west, laughed if you thought North and South Jersey were the same. I loved the dirty jersey beaches and was a frequent goer every summer with every car that I had. Until recently

Things were destined to change, with unexpected turns and losses, I slowly started to give it all up. I became a commuter. I was not sure if my sanity and money was worth it, but I continued. I continued to hustle, I sold my car, I started adding extra days and nights in the city, only to be home a few nights for dinner and on Sundays where I hated leaving the house. I felt displaced.

Boqueria, Forte Green, Brooklyn

I fell in love with New York and everything it had to offer. Going to school for something I was passionate about, the Union Square Market at my finger tips a few days a week, the buildings, the freedom, the ultimate place to be single and not feel yourself being left out. You are always welcomed somewhere. That’s what I drew me into this city. I never felt so happy or fortunate to just be me, to be on my own.

With uncertainty, little sleep, and not enough money, I took the opportunity. Instead of my will to merge my two worlds, the one of suburban NJ and the city streets, I decided to make New York my home, and pretty lucky to say Brooklyn now.

With every decision I have made, comes concerns and opinions of others. And, I guess that is why I kept this decision to myself. With only family and couple of friends to talk to about it with, even still I got every side mentioned to. And I moved the fuck along. Because, I not only learned a few years ago, but recently accepted, that my path is unique. It has not been done. Not the way I could do it.  I have taken much of what I learned in childhood and school, and pushed it away. I needed to create space to learn something new. 

So I leave you with this. A sincere thank you and promise. Thank you for continuing to read this blog and follow My Whisk and Mat whether in New Jersey, Florida, or New York. For the unbelievable support.  Believing in my mission and being part of the journey. And a promise, to not give up. Even when things got so emotionally and physically impossible, I found a way to make it happen again. Blogging, creating, and sharing is part of what I love, and I knew I had to find a way back to it.

I moved to Brooklyn. I moved to New York City.

MI familia, gracias.

Pictures by Michele Vignola.  Photography badass and amazing friend. 

What A Peach Pie Means To Me

Specifically this one. The one I made last Sunday, to celebrate the end of Summer, the end of the longest month of my life (exaggerating, but whatever), and also the beginning of a new practice. Does that all make sense? If not, that’s cool, because I have this whole post to get through.

Somehow, I found the energy to even write this post, still dark from the early morning with just my lemon water in hand. I tried writing this many times at my job, that I’m actually starting to outgrow, even at night in the midst of an Anthony Bourdain’s, Parts Unknown episode. Somehow, after a 16 hour day in the city and four hours of sleep, I chose this morning. Wide eyed, somewhat tired, and motivated. That, my dears, is not a normal habit for myself, if we’re being honest.

You see, there was always a reason. Whether it wasn’t the right time or I wasn’t sure I could do it successfully, I pushed one of the many things I told myself I would do aside. Am I talking about pie or a real life event? It can go both ways. My world feels like it has been turned upside down in the last month. In order to mentally cope and most literally slow down (not an easy task when walking the streets of New York and taking six trains a day), I put away MANY of my Summer Goals. One of them, making a peach pie.

This peach pie represented my biggest obstacle of the season, my biggest practice in life. I found the task intimidating, time consuming, and more intense than I’m used to. These are some of my obstacles when it comes to my biggest dreams. Maybe yours too. Could I make time to do this? Was it even necessary in a time when I “had to” focus on everything else presently going wrong? Why do I even want to do it?

Emotions were becoming mixed with reality and I couldn’t pull them apart.

I wanted to end this month with something beautiful. A reminder of why I strive to do what I love, everyday. Even writing this post, ending a very busy week, I knew this is what I needed to do, right now at this very moment, at least.

This post was unplanned and thought through on a whim, just like the doctor visits, health scares, and new bills that lined up for me to figure out. I made this pie on my last free day I would have in two weeks. Sacrificing a few extra dollas, time with friends, and doing what I “should”, I chose to make a pie. I chose to follow my dream. I chose to end a time, a season, a relationship, that taught me how imperfect and bumpy this thing called life is always going to be.

Yet, I’m not as intimidated. To just do it, is to make it possible.

I rolled out dough and made a beautiful crust. Not perfect, but beautiful. A filling made with the last of the season peaches, still sweet on their very own. With some practice and new adventures to come (a new job? homemade bread?!), who knows what exactly is next. Although, I do hope it’s delicious.

I used Joy The Baker, Peach Blueberry Pie. No blueberries or corn starch. I recommend corn starch and patience. Something my family did not have. Still delicious and devoured.

P.S. It’s September. Fall is about to begin. I. Smell. Apple. Pie

Sunday Cortado 17

I love summer rain.  I love the humidity or coolness (you just never know what you are going to get) that comes after.  I love both the thunder and stillness that happens as everyone tries to take cover.  Even the gloom, a calming effect to the usual upbeat excitement of the summer sun.  

During this dreary Sunday, I wanted to share what's been inspiring me.  Because, even on days like these, the love and hustle doesn't stop... in my eyes, it heightens.  Although, you may have the opportunity to take a little more time for yourself, dare I say, relax.  Go back into your book, reorganize your vision board, and maybe have that extra cortadito. 

~

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.  Learn that name.  Know that woman.  Changing the game in politics with humility, grace, morals, and strength, it's been amazing to watch.  In case if you are wondering if there are more, here are a few other progressive women to know. 

This one hit home for me in more ways than 1.  Young farmers and the food revolution of Puerto Rico.  This sparked MANY ideas.  

Top chefs working in our public schools is something I'm here for.  I was even excited to see one of my culinary instructors be mentioned. 

I need to see this ASAP! A tiny sustainable home in NYC, part of a UN and Yale project.  

Now that I'm diving into a chef world, I love to see what other chefs are loving and eating.  Healthy or not, it's pretty fascinating.  

This No-Bake Icebox Tres Leches seems like a fun (read easy) twist on my favorite cake.  

I finally read Bourdain's Don't Eat Before Reading This.  It all makes perfect sense!  And I'm proud to say I wasn't so far along. 

"I love the sheer weirdness of the kitchen life: the dreamers, the crackpots, the refugees, and the sociopaths with whom I continue to work;... Admittedly, it’s a life that grinds you down. Most of us who live and operate in the culinary underworld are in some fundamental way dysfunctional." 

 

Sunday Cortado 16

Augusta St, Elizabeth NJ

By the time I can get this too you all, I highly doubt it's "cortado" time, but it's Sunday, none the less.  As I write to you in a dimly lit kitchen, while the Florida sun is shining down, I can't help but give you a little bit of honesty.  I have been on a emotional rollercoaster.  Weekends to many, are a time to recharge, explore, and most likely to be spent with friends and family.  Mine as of late, and what I thought I accepted, is the hustle part 2. 

I wake up before 6am and put all my energy to get once step closer to my vision until sundown.  Cleansing, yoga, markets, kitchen, recipe, photography, and blog.  Yes, these are things I love, and I could never picture my life without, but I can't help but think what if I wanted what was "normal".  To go out with friends on a Saturday night, brunch or bbq on a Sunday, and spend time with a significant other, before another week begins.  

I found myself going into an anxious, doubtful, and exhausted hole.   Falling into an all too familiar space of loneliness, usually pretty dark and filled with fear.  What if I don't make it?  Will I sacrifice everything, for nothing? I've told myself it's part of the deal.  As a striving woman looking to make her WILDEST dreams come true, that space of loneliness is inevitable.  Right?

I was reminded last week it's not.  The depressed driven deaths of a few creative souls was a reminder to many.  Yes, we may all feel like this from time to time, it's just the extremities and how we deal that might separate us, but it doesn't have to.  As an introvert and one who rather read a story, then speak, reaching out can seem like the hardest thing to do.  But, here is my way of reaching out to you, with my honesty, hoping you feel the comfort of not feeling alone.  

I'm here for the connection.  For the shared journey.  

~

One that hit me pretty hard was Bourdain.  I do believe there is a strong connection when it comes to food and us, people.  

Families are being separated, all because they want to feel safe in our country.  That's. Not. Right.

Puerto Rico is the example of colonialism gone horribly wrong, and it's shamefully known.  So do you walk away or stay home.  Is your loyalty questioned?

Adobo.  Would you believe they questioned my Puerto Ricaness because I do not use adobo.  Rude. 

If you can make a good story out of enchiladas, I'm all for it.  

Food is therapy.  And, I plan to do a lot of it this summer.  Here's what to make in June. 

I leave you with this.  Reach out.  Speak out.  

Sunday Cortado 15: Siempre Con Amor

Life lately has definentily been all over the place and unpredictable, and I'm just not talking about my own.  When I started Sunday Cortado, I wanted EVERYONE to feel connected.  There are wars on the fence, innocent children too common becoming victims, and history being made in the name of love.  How can you not feel something all the time?  

Even with all the shit and fear, is it still possible to feel that light?  The one that makes everyday doable and worth a little more.  Whether smiling and feeling love with another or with a passion still fiery inside you.  I ask you give it a chance, this thing called love... amor.  

If you fear you haven't yet felt it or don't have enough in you, like I sometimes do, maybe something as small as this cortado can help.  Because, I still believe in the simple things, and the ones we hold close us to enjoy them with.  

1.  I've been working incredibly hard trying to create and bring together new content to share with you all.  Whether new recipes or pages OR news, I'm excited for the changes that lie ahead!

2.  Rekindling my love for Ayurveda through this fool-proof Idiots Guide.  I only just begun, and already started making connections I haven't seen before. 

3.  Flowers.  I have never been a flower kinda girl, and I say girl because it is the norm for girls to receive flowers for any occasion/reason.  That's cool and all... but they die.  So I never understood the point.   Although, I guess for that moment, the beauty is simply that... beauty.  

4.  These 70's NY photos.  One amazing point made, no-one is looking at their phones.

5.  I love women who empower women.  Nothing says empowerment like owning and knowing your body.  I've already tried the menstrual cup once, but I love this honest and positive review to inform even the most skeptical lady.  

6.  Speaking of empowering women, you can hate on me all you want, but she has the confidence, heart, and badass I will always need in my life.  

7.  A Kitchen Alter.  How have I not thought of this before?!  Where the therapy, joy, magic, dance, and even tears happen all at once. 

8.  The farmers market, because nothing there is nothing like mother earth working her own magic to make this world a little more beautiful . 

siempre con amor,

~yesenia

Spring Cleaning, Your Way

A confession before we begin...  1) Sorry, for the hiatus!  But, not really.  Sometimes we need a change or a break.  Mine was a change, and blogging was something that just didn't fit into what I was doing and trying to achieve.. for a bit. 2) I wanted a comeback - an informative post full of food facts, nutritional advice, and stories!  After I spent a few hours writing, I deleted it.  Because once again, things change.  And personally, this place of "change" is exactly where I'm at.  Let's begin.   

Spring has officially came and has decided to stay.  I could not be any more psyched!  Let's be real, I don't even love Spring, as my heart belongs to Summer. And that just means we are so much closer.  Heat and humidity, where you at?! 

During this season, our bodies can start to take a toll. Not only with the weather change, but the longer days, change of pace, or the sudden realization of all we need or want to do.  Winter hibernation is no longer an excuse.  So what should we really be doing?  Getting rid of all the stuff weighing us down! From some extra pounds, toxins, clutter and past bullshit.  Yes, I said it.  That bullshit. 

It's so easy to get caught up in unnecessary clutter.  We can even call it the excess that no longer serves us.  Whether it is extra weight from the winter to our unorganized thoughts and closets, I wanted to find a way to make it not so intimidating, rather something you want to get done.  Your own way of therapy.    

What it's going to come down to is CREATING SPACE.  In 3 areas, how I've been able to get it done, and make it my own.  

Create Space in Our Bodies

Anybody else dramatic about the cold?  Eating all the heavy comforting food, and maybe very well experienced in hibernation.  That would be me!  From all the winter's heavy foods and lack of movement there is an excess that needs to be rid of (toxins and weight) and a digestive system that needs to be reset.  By ingesting seasonal cleansing foods and igniting some inner fire, we can rid and make space for a new seasonal diet and a much lighter feeling.

~ Eat Seasonally.  Dandelions, spinach, sprouts, radishes, and asparagus are my favorite.  Play with recipes!  I found cooking to be my therapy as of late; even being able to make a simple nourishing plate beautiful.  Maybe you're not a big cook?  Find some local restaurants that specialize in seasonal and local fares.  Cleansing does not have to mean depriving! 

~Move!  Sweat!  I took a break from yoga, but as soon as I went back, I couldn't believe why I stopped in the first place.  It felt amazing (and scary) and I immediately felt a difference.  Keep your body moving and the rest of your systems and endorphins will follow!

Create Space in Our Minds

This one was tricky for me.  Food and health, I can write and talk about forever, and feel pretty confident about.  The mind?  Well working on myself alone, that was a challenge in itself.  Basically, I knew that I needed a change of mindset.  Whatever that has happened in the last few months, good or bad, had to take a backseat.  I needed to reevaluate what exactly it was that I wanted to feel and where I wanted to be for right now.  I needed space in my head, not for it to be filled with more ideas, but a clarity of what I was already doing for myself.   

~Get active! The past few months I've had every excuse to not get moving.  I stopped yoga and really became an expert in not leaving my house.  After getting out and going back, I decided to take advantage of this new lifestyle.  The "just do it attitude" came about, no contemplation.  I got rid of all the excuses in my head.  Time, money, and motivation.  Being active became my excuse to let go of those repetitive thoughts.  

~ Surrender.  Because the bullshit is going to keep on coming.  Honestly, I learned to feel it out and let it be.  I let go of things I could not change or handle.  From relationships lost to selling my car, I felt my world being turned upside down.  And it truly did.  Accepting what I had to do allowed me to be in the present.  Let go of the past and what could have been, do not worry about the future and what is unknown.  Be Here. 

Creating Space in Our Surroundings

Pick just one or two things.  No matter if you discard or reorganize, you will find yourself wanting to see less around you...more space.  I've had some very messy habits in the past.  Now I live to see clear surfaces.  Especially in my kitchen.  It became my canvas.  My space to work from scratch again and again.  

~Clean out your closet and drawers.  Donate or recycle!  Plenty of ways to discard guilt-free.

~Organize your pantry.  Or whatever it is that you use everyday.  A bookshelf?  Computer?  Make your space manageable again.

~Your relationships.  Friendships, family, or lovers, where might the space serve you?  I'm not even talking about completely letting go. It does not have to be all or nothing, which is something I'm. Still. Learning.  Keep in mind what it is you need out of them and what can you be without them?

Spring is 3 months long.  It's never too late.  Don't rush.  Work with what you got.  Small means can do great things.    

Sunday Cortado, 14

Leaky Cauldron, Diagon Alley

Happy New Year, my dears!  I wish I could have done an end of the year post, but internet service and life get's in the way.  As there hasn't been a Cortado in almost two months, and I even miss the one planned, we have some extra links and loves.  I think there may be a little bit for everyone here to enjoy.  Or, maybe just me? 

Enjoy this Cortadito, set a little different for my wide (but pretty predictable if you know me, and I think you all do) selection of interests and reads!

New York Lovin'

Help the homeless as these freezing temperatures hit for frequent New Yorkers. 

Otherwise, enjoy like some of these people who clearly aren't afraid of a good flurry.

Case for the Subway:  It helped build the city, now it's time for the city to help build it back.  

Latino History and Literature

Dare I say that Puerto Rico is a VISIBLE example of colonialism gone wrong.  Here is something for those who still dream.  

I'm on mission to get through the most influential literature by latinos (is this a college elective or book club? Sign me up) of my time.

My favorites so far?  Juniot Diaz, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.  And Drown and This Is How You Lose Her.  

Rights and Movements

Boston. Racism. Image. Reality.  Surprising statistics from a well known "progressive and liberal" city.  

How these celebrities are standing up and helping ALL WOMEN.  Time's Up!

Single people.  We still exist, now more than ever.  Don't underestimate us.  

Food and Health

5 Superfoods to Eat in 2018.  Or forever. 

Inflammation-Fighting Winter Vegetables.  Still yummy. 

Who want's to go out in this cold weather anyway?  What to Cook This January.    

2018 Intentions and Visions (Yes, I have them too)

Yoga. Yoga. Yoga. And practice.  A great way to look at the New Year using this Yoga Trifecta. 

Let's talk money and savings.  I had a scary revelation on my everyday Americano habit....

I always say, Rihanna as a singer, eh.  Rihanna as style and fashion bad ass, show me the way!

Sunday Cortado, 13: Feminist Fire

I have been reading and chatting with you guys over quite a few cortados now.  And let's be real, sometimes it's all about the goods.  The links to something new, thoughtful, questionable, even yummy. 

Today's cortado is brought to you by the women.  I found that most of the articles I have read and bookmarked had a theme, and it was too good to ignore.  

Now with all the accusations and confessions of sexual harassment and assault being brought to light, the little representation of women in political office, and the history of how we have been treated in EVERY part of the world, I knew I wanted to spread the world in my own way... in my own space 

We are woman of different color and culture, talents and beliefs.  Stick together and stick it to them.  I believe in using where you came from and who you were born to be to your greatest advantage no matter what is to be expected.  Lately, and even looking back as a woman, I've noticed commentaries from men are way too common, sarcastic, and inappropriate to ignore.  You may play it off as that's just how they are, but no, that's how we allowed it.  

Every time I read an article of woman strength, bond, leadership, I can't help but think in the words of Kendrick, "We gonna be aight."

~~~ 

The Life and Death of A Radical Sisterhood, the history and commentaries that were brought to light right in my favorite city, New York.

The UN plans are making steps to help climate change, and female focused initiatives are leading the way.  

Free speech and abortion. California, what you going to decide?

The 2018 World Economic Forum will be co-chaired by seven women - and zero men.  BAM! 

Lady Gaga and Joe Biden coming together to help sexually assaulted and abused woman.  Add this to the list on why I admire these people. 

I did love the movie Wonder Woman, but now I really love Wonder Woman. 

We have the first Hijab wearing Barbie, and she has an amazing story. 

More men are marrying up now to successful educated women.  Future feminist families to come?

Now let's unwind.  This woman wants others to feel... a little more comfortable when doing yoga. I can dig it.